What Are You Trying To Prove To God?

Guest Post – Kirk Giles is a graduate of the Arrow Leadership Program – Emerging Stream (Canadian Class 2005). He is married to Shannon and a father to four children ages 10 to 16.  Kirk is the President of Promise Keepers Canada – a ministry that ignites and equips men to have a godly impact.

“What are you trying to prove to God?”  Those words from my Arrow leadership partner (on-site mentor) were ringing in my ears late at night.  At first, I didn’t really believe she knew what she was talking about. But, I couldn’t shake that question from my mind.

I was wrestling with what my mind told me was true compared to what my actions and attitudes were revealing about what my heart really believed. In my mind, I served God because I wanted other people to have their lives changed by Him. However, my actions and attitudes were revealing that I was actually trying to earn God’s approval through all of my hard work for Him. My sense of worth was focused on whether my work was turning out results FOR God rather than simply receiving my worth FROM God.

God had been leading me towards that Arrow residential. One month earlier I had done a significant study on what it meant to be “adopted” as God’s son. I had the head knowledge, but it still hadn’t made its way to my heart.

At the end of that residential we had a time of prayer. I was exhausted and must confess that I just wanted to go home. I was less than thrilled that we would be spending so much time in prayer. Then someone stood and said they believed that God had led them to read a passage of Scripture. They began to read from Romans 8 and declared the truth of our adoption as God’s children. In that moment, something triggered in me. It was like God removed a ten thousand pound weight from my shoulders. I couldn’t stop weeping. The truth had made its way to my heart.

There are many days when I still wrestle with issues of identity and worth as a leader. However, God used Arrow to pinpoint what was happening in my heart as well as to prepare me to identify and address the temptations that still come my way.

I have nothing to prove to God – He has adopted me to be His son. I love the freedom and rest that comes because of His grace.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.  The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” Romans 8:15-16